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Delineation II: The Raging Sea (Jan 17, 2010)
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McDeath



Joined: 22 Jul 2008
Posts: 552
Location: London

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My mother died on Xmas Day 2007. My family and I are estranged by my choice and, as such, the tragedy for me is not that she died but that she did so while I was still around to be made aware of it. I shall be reminded of the event and the stress and passive-aggressive pressure from all sides for the next 8 years. Why? By the simple token that the photo on my current passport was done under 2mths after the last time I saw her and it mirrors the person I saw in that hospital bed, such was the impact.
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Marcin



Joined: 24 Nov 2008
Posts: 597
Location: Poland

PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2010 11:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some people are missing their parents as they only "exist" from physical point of view. When relationship is lacks of conversation, it's almost like be dead.
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Elohim



Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 4891
Location: Netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, my parents still 'exist' because my sister, brother and I are around. They still live on in my nephew and nieces. After me the lineage will go extinct, I have no prodigy of my own.
But then I have discovered that parenthood is not made out of biological predispositions.
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Akhenaton



Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Posts: 1012
Location: Montreal, Quebec

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What you are doing, as a parent, is noble of you, Elohim. ~~~ As for me, aside from my father teaching me how to be athletic; We did not speak to one another on intimate terms until recently, - almost 15 years after I left his home. My parents are Jehovah's Witnesses. There were severe problems. These started, for me, around the age of 12; & progressed until a heartbreaking conclusion was reached. Fortunately, Love conquered all in my regard. Others in similar circumstances are not so fortunate.
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Elohim



Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 4891
Location: Netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Between me and my parents religion was also a huge obstacle to be taken. In this case I mean my father and stepmother, although my mother was a very religious person herself. My father was an elder for the church, and all of his children left the church: I was the last hope, but I turned out to be the worst of all three with dealings in occultism, satanism and black magic. That was a total act of rebellion. I never had a good relationship with both of my parents. After my father died the relationship with my stepmother actually faded away. I haven't seen her in six years, and I don't feel the need to see her.
My stepmother is this negative influence on my life. When I decided to go back to college, her first response was that I would not finish it because it was way over my league. I now hold an MA in cultural sciences. Whenever I met a nice girl and things became serious, she never acknowledged that it was serious. All I was feeling was 'a bit of friendship', not love. When I asked her how she knew what I felt, which is something that I experience and not she, she simply replied that 'she knew'. When I was divorced, she finally came clean with all kinds of remarks about how I didn't speak up to my ex-wife at the time, when she was in gross misconduct in the view of my stepmother. At first she never told me when she thought my ex was misbehaving. Second: she never was present when we left and I asked my ex in the car if what she did was necessary. She never attended the fights my ex and I had over my parents, so how the hell should she know about what I have said and done about my ex-wife's behaviour.
So when I met my current wife, I told her that she would not be meeting my stepmother and if that bothered her. When she asked why, I made a prediction of what she would say about my wife: she only wants you for your money, to support her children. That's it. She does not love you.
It kind of tells everything about my stepmom, we have this saying in Holland: 'Zoals de waard is, vertrouwt hij zijn gasten' , which roughly translated means 'The innkeeper trusts his guests like he trusts himself'. I have made an educated guess that my stepmother wasn't with my dad because she loved him, but because it made life more easy for her. She can barely think for herself, so please don't let her think about my wife. Or her children. So I made this choice, and I hope to have learned from my stepmother's mistakes... Hoping that the girls look back on me when they are adults themselves, and think 'he was like a father to me'. That would mean a lot.
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Akhenaton



Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Posts: 1012
Location: Montreal, Quebec

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

. . A relationship broken, & one that can never be resolved.- You are obviously a loving person; & her loss is anothers gain. To be appreciated for what you can give is a blessing, & should never be taken for granted. So, they will say: not"Like a father"- but-"He Was a father"
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Elohim



Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 4891
Location: Netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 3:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I will settle for 'like a father', everything they might add themselves is a bonus.
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Akhenaton



Joined: 30 Dec 2009
Posts: 1012
Location: Montreal, Quebec

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 3:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

. . . That is *exactly* what I mean, man. I would like a family myself one day ~~~ Speaking of "Occultism"- my involvement figured into my youth, though it was not out of "rebellion", for me. It just so happened that I was strongly drawn to those things from a young age. It ran along with who I was becoming, & was not something that I was open about. Relations were strained enough as it was without adding that!
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Elohim



Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 4891
Location: Netherlands

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 9:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If my heart was really into occultism, I would have made it my lifestyle. But I knew I could freak my parents out with such things. Today I am a sceptic. I don't believe in anything paranormal, magic or other things. Not that occultism is intermingled with the paranormal, but it has some dealings with it. I see it more as esoteric knowledge, but I also have nothing with esoterica hahaha! Reading the Satanic Bible did learn me something in my early adulthood: life depends on perspective.
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