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Delineation II: The Raging Sea (Jan 17, 2010)
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DrMorbid
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 8:20 am    Post subject: Delineation II: The Raging Sea (Jan 17, 2010) Reply with quote

The Raging Sea
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DBC



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Losing your father is hard. I hope this picture brings back good memories for Tom.

ps: I like the pic very much, also because Mr Fischer sr drives the same great brand as I do.
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Elohim



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 10:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lost my father in 2002. Seeing him lifeless is one of those images that I see very clearly once the subject is brought on. But that is the same with my mother, who died in 1978 and they brought in the coffin for the family to say farewell. Her body beneath the glass with the plastic object under her chin to prevent her mouth from falling open, is one of those images I can't shake. But on both occasions I was kind of prepared (as prepared as a child of nine years old can be), I cannot imagine how it must feel to find your father dead. I can imagine the horror of such a situation...
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Marcin



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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This day is waiting still for me. Tom I want you to know that i'm raly sorry for you loss. Marcin
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D
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is a picture in Are You Morbid? of Tom as a youngster with his father doing something he described as "very Swiss" Wink in which the striking resemblance between father and son is even more apparent than in the photo on Delineation. I hope Tom that you are reminded of good times with your father whenever you are near a mirror.

My relationship with my own Father is very strained and dysfunctional, yet as I age I find myself able to speak with him in a more civil manner, and who knows, I may even be able to "bury the hatchet" so to say before the time is lost.
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V-GER



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can't believe I am posting this but here goes. My father died when I was 4. First stepfather at 14 and he was blind and an amputee. Not a bad guy but not really there. Second stepfather about 5 years ago. Pulled his lifeless body out of the bathroom where he collapsed. Didn't get along early on then in my thirties, were civil. Still to this day I terribly miss having a real father, yeah poor me I know...
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Knucklehead



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 1:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't see that as belly-aching at all, V-GER. The wife of a very good friend passed last week. In fact, I was the best man at their wedding. They have two children who are under 10. Obviously, mid-life death is tragic, because a person's quality of life is still good and there are lots of good years left.

But I feel really badly for their children, because their mother will not be there for prom or high school graduation or their weddings. Clearly, people still thrive. (I have heard that some even channel their response to the adversity presented by absent parents into the arts. Ahem.) But I have to wonder if the hole ever diminishes. This thread is pretty well answering that question.
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Elohim



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, recently I told my wife that I easily could see her get along with my father: they both love fish. My father always prepared fish in the shed on this old cooking gear and my wife could easily sneak in there to steal a fish or two... three... But then reality strikes: I will never know, because he is not around anymore. About my mother I remember very little things. I cannot describe her personality, I was way too young to watch such things. But she loved her grandson, so I guess she might get along with the girls.
But Knut, it's thirty-two years since my mother passed away and the hole never heals. It gets easier to think about it, to 'forget' it in daily life, but once it pops in your mind again, the hurt is real.
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DrMorbid
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The relationship between myself and my parents has been extremely strained since my childhood, and got worse as time went on. It was based in an pretty odd collection of extremes, as well as a combination of being immigrants from a conservative background in a non-conservative country.

Our relationship got much better once I left the country, however. I guess it takes that sometimes, and they figured until the last day that I would never leave.
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Blackcloud



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Growing up...I never knew my dad, except @ X-mas and my B-day.
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IronBloodyIron



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PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My father is a very difficult person to get along. We have different ways to see things. He really hurted me over the years...and I am not ashamed to confess that he left me scared for life..."but it's not my flesh that's wounded".
Dispite everything, he still is my father. I wish he was easier. I look forward the day we will get along. I just hope there's still time left.

I hope Tom to have only but good memories of his father.
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ksagendo



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I lost my mother to a very aggressive form of cancer in November of 2006. I still have a hard time believing how it happened so quickly. There wasn't a history of cancer in my family which made it even tougher.
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Galaxigrl68



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry to hear of the loss, Tom- I know we're all "supposed" to lose our parents at some point in our lives, but that doesn't make the loss any easier, not in the least. And I can't even imagine the tragedy of being the one to have found your own father...my most heart felt condolences.

And sorry to hear of everyone else's losses too- death fucking sucks. As does cancer which almost invariably results in death sooner or later. Just two days ago I lost a very dear friend from cancer, and her death makes the total now 4 loved ones taken by cancer (all young, in their 40's except for my Mum who was 65, died in 1991), not to mention 2 others dying in motorcycle accidents, one by drug overdose, another from a heart attack. I think that's it, I can't even keep track anymore and all these deaths except my Mum were within just the last few years. Not to overdramatize but I swear I'm feeling like pretty soon I won't have anyone left...Life is short so for those of you who mentioned having strained relationships with your parents, or anyone else, I hope that situations allow for some healing and reconciliations.

On a lighter note, I do have to say I just LOVE that photograph- didn't know Mr. Fischer Sr. was a biker! Cool.

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Elohim



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 7:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you don't realize how short life is until you get confronted with it's ending nature yourself. I recently spoke to my ex-sister in law and her husband went to the hospital to make an X-ray of his lungs, because they thought he still had a bit of pneumonia, and they discovered a growth. He should have had surgery last monday, but they delayed it because there are also problems with his heart. Not that we speak on a daily basis, but I have no problem with her (my problem is with her sister...) and I don't think she deserves any of this. But it's unfortunately a fact of life that we are organisms and that we can get sick and eventually die.

You don't want to think about it, but there is a day coming for you or your loved ones to say farewell... And I sincerely hope for my wife that she goes first and don't have to deal with the loss. On the other hand, I am egoistic and want to die first, so that I don't have to deal with another loss...

It's difficult sometimes. But then life is what happens to you before you die.
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kzr750r1



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of the main reasons I don't go digging to far into my past. It's depressing to find out how many of your school chums are no longer around. Kinda goes like this:
Hey Mary have you seen Billy lately? Yes, Billy was crushed in a massive car accident.
Ok have you heard from Chris lately? No, but was a the funeral after the drug OD.

My family is lucky that we usually die of old age, very ripe old age. My grandmother was the last to pass and she was ready to go at 92 a couple of years ago. Was very happy she was able to meet my daughter and she was able to meet her great grandmother. Just as I had the opportunity to meet my great grandmother.

Circle of life is never ending. Even after man is extinguished from this earth something will live on in our legacy.
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